Know the unknown, hear the unheard, see the unseen.
Does such an authoritative forecast on the little paper tag of my tea bag qualify as wisdom? Philosophical guidance? Or something between a fortune-cookie proclamation and the daily horoscope?
Here’s another one: The brightness of your being is generated from within. A light-bulb moment? Or a vision that gives a vague (and uneasy) sense of being radioactive? Are these bits meant to be taken seriously?
Let’s think about this. It is pretty clear that humans have an inclination toward prognostication, welcoming any hint about what’s around the next corner. People want to know the future, to feel a sense of control, prepare for coming events, reduce anxiety. In my small world—a career in sports journalism—there exists a relentless hunger to prophesy winners, much of that motivated by the betting culture. And mostly doomed to failure.
As that grand baseball character Yogi Berra once said, “It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”
Back to those little tea bags, produced by the Yogi Tea company (no relation), which was established 41 years ago by a yoga instructor. In Oregon. Not in China, as is so often assumed. Fortune cookies—though certainly a staple of Chinese restaurants—also originated elsewhere, reportedly in Japan, and were first popularized by Japanese immigrants in the United States, likely first served in 1908 at the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.
As with tea-bag quotes, standard fortune-cookie perception is something like “Do not be afraid of competition.” Or “An exciting opportunity lies ahead of you.” “You love peace.” “You always will be surrounded by true friends.” Goofy humor is a rarity, though there was a case citing this declaration inside a fortune cookie: “Help I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.”
And then we have horoscopes, similarly purporting to provide insight, to some extent, into one’s destiny. There are prophesies of love, career and more—supposedly based on an individual’s character and philosophical traits—via a system which reaches ‘way back to the Babylonians’ deciphering astrological signs.
(Full disclosure: This rumination is being rendered in Babylon. Not that one, though; this on Long Island, N.Y., where airplanes and drones muddle any nighttime attempts to study the planets and stars.)
The thing about horoscopes, it says here, is how much they hedge their bets: Some examples from a recent day fudged their predictions thusly: “Someone close to you could change their mind, or your feelings might shift.” And “You might be able to show off your star power where you can mingle with people from diverse professional backgrounds.” And “Gatherings of friends could fulfill your desire for social contact.” And “Becoming a success could require you to exert more effort. Daydreaming might help you pinpoint exactly what you want.”
Could. Might. Hard to know in advance, no?
Anyway, there could be various shades of dedication to these things. An essayist on the website masslive.com, professes a “dislike for the usual horoscope,” yet acknowledges a “tender loving relationship with the fortune cookie and other random words of wisdom found on the tabs of tea bags….”
From thisibelieve.org, meanwhile, there is an absolute conviction that “fortune cookies speak the truth….contain some of the most profound messages to strike your brain since they told you bread could be sliced and the sky was blue. [Fortune cookies] hold the secrets of the world.”
Hocus pocus? It shouldn’t require an out-and-out cynic to at least apply an ample dose of skepticism to these forms of counsel. (From a tea bag tag: “The heart sees deeper than the eye.” Hmmm?) Consider the late John Prine’s song regarding the typical newspaper advice-to-the-lovelorn columns—just variations on tea bags and fortune cookies and horoscopes, really. Prine put to music how he imagined Dear Abby responding to an anxious soul:
You have no complaint/You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t. So listen up, Buster/And listen up good. Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Words to live by?